Letting Go of Self-Will and Self-Defeating Behaviors

In the 12 Steps the sixth steps states “We were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.” Once I had become aware and of these behaviors and was willing to do the work to remove them. My experience has not been, “Okay, Brigitte; your wish is my command!” What I have found—and what you may also find—is that you will have opportunities to show up where you get to practice taking the high road. Being a God Light-Being versus operating from fear and ego. We take a look at our defense mechanisms that just do not fit any longer. We are working toward spiritual transformation, letting go of self-will and self-defeating behaviors. We get to build our new life, practicing the principles in all areas of our life. All old ideas, belief systems, and habits need to be examined. Take a look at the way we respond to people. Now we have the choice to invite the presence of God into our daily lives. Before this, we did not know any better.

Always remember, as a measuring gauge, to do the next right thing. We cannot have God Consciousness and self-consciousness at the same time. Choose to live in peace and serenity. Being self-centered is not the same as being God-Centered. The more God-Centeredness I practice, the less self-centered I am. You can also find this to be true. We do know right from wrong. What you focus on will be foremost in your mind. While practicing these new ideas, some days will be better than others; none of us will do it perfectly. My sponsor, Polly, has told me, “Just think, Brigitte, you used to behave like this all the time and never thought anything was wrong with it. Now you are aware, and it makes you feel uncomfortable. That is a huge difference!” This process serves to deflate the ego. This is where spiritual growth begins to happen. Daily practice is how we grow spiritually. There will be many opportunities that present themselves where you can practice the opposite behavior. Do the things you know you are supposed to do. Don’t do the things you know you are not supposed to do. It's that simple!

This is a great measuring gauge when it comes to changing behavior. Do the opposite; this is how patterns and behaviors are changed. Surrender to the process. We cannot change ourselves; we need Divine guidance. This is how the growth process happens. Do something good for yourself even if it feels uncomfortable. This is exactly how we become Awakened. Through recovery, God has given me the courage to look within. You will find the same. The search begins by looking within. It is between God and yourself to take that old idea and accept that you have it. Be willing to look at it, noticing your pattern with it. You have to be willing to have a closer relationship with your God in order to do this. This is moving toward God's will for us.

We want to see where our behavior has caused us and others unhappiness and problems. When our instincts are misdirected, we cannot find peace; there is no peace of mind. We may be in conflict with ourselves; we now no longer want this destructive behavior if we are to make a decision to enter into a peaceful state of mind. Growing closer to Spirit is the antidote to our soul sickness. These behaviors are familiar and comfortable because they are so ingrained. Be aware that the destructive behaviors have outgrown their welcome. To grow, we must let our old behavior go. Take a look at these old behaviors and let go of this partnership that is no longer serving you. It is important that you also note your beautiful assets in order to create balance. Balance is equal to sanity. To be on the recovery road, you need to look and search inside. Remain awake and aware that this is where you will connect with your Sacred Heart. Be gentle with yourself as you become aware of your patterns. The longer you have been practicing a behavior, the longer it takes to heal. This is a process—just be gentle with yourself.

Brigitte's Book

How To Get Your Life Back

is now available on

Kindle or in Paperback!

Addiction can take many forms, but all of them require recovery. No matter your life story or your situation, you can find hope in knowing that there are others who have been where you are and have come through it—and they are not just surviving, they’re thriving.


How to Get Your Life Back is a collection of true stories that are full of hope, freedom, and the promise of a bright future—stories that encompass every type of addiction, every individual journey, and every walk of life. However, they are all interwoven with a theme: you are not alone, you can be free, and you don’t have to do it on your own. God and your Angels are waiting nearby, ready for you to ask for the help needed to bring you from darkness into glorious light. They’re ready to help you find and become the person you were created to be and to live the life you were intended to live—as a member of your family, your community, your society.


Through surrender, support, and healing, you too can leave the darkness behind for good. Let these stories be an encouragement to those who need them and a promise of hope for future generations.

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