For some, this is the most joyous or painful time of the year. When you grow up in Alcoholic or Drug-Addicted homes, this time of year can be devastating.
I remember the chaos. It used to haunt me with broken dreams. The gatherings, the laughter, and love seemed like others had; it wasn't what we had. The Hallmark picture perfect Holiday eluded me. How come others had the magic? I grew up in a family trying their best to pull it together. The truth is, it was always uncomfortable. Ours would start with fun, then problems. People would show up late because it would take everything they had even to get there. Later, we would receive free toys from charities for Christmas. I felt like an orphan in my own family. The drama was exhausting.
As I grew older, I got into Recovery. I never knew I could do things differently. I learned I could start making New Traditions. Wow, that was a new concept to me. I would have anxiety before the holidays and an emotional hangover days after. I was exhausted from the dynamics. For my well-being, I had to start practicing a healthier way of living. Keeping that promise to myself and breaking the cycle.
Now fast forward to 2020. Things look different during this Season of Light. We all have a common bond, trying to navigate through this past year!
I have been a hair designer for 30 years and have observed my clients' stress putting up and going with the flow of dysfunction. Some are very sad that they can't see their families, while others are taking this time to finally excuse themselves from dysfunction.
I love the idea of Peace on Earth Goodwill to All. I used to ask myself, why is it only during this time of year there is so much Love practiced? What about the rest of the year? When my daughter was born, I wanted the most beautiful name I could dream of, and that was Noelle, to remember the Love, Peace, Joy, and Good Will that is given us all.
I love the quote by Charles Dickens from a Christmas Carol,
"I will honor Christmas in my heart and try to keep it all the year."
Won't you join me?
Have a Beautiful Season of Light!